9 Practical Ways to Support a Christian with Depression (from someone who’s been there)

A loved one has told you they have depression. You have shared a few sympathetic words and possibly even said the vague “let me know if there is anything I can do to help”. But now what? How do you support them and keep showing God’s love and grace to them? These practical tips are based on my personal experience and I hope they will help you too.

1. Thank them

It is difficult to admit that you are struggling with depression. So thank them for trusting you and sharing openly with you.

2. Pray WITH them 

Saying “I’m praying for you” can be a brief encouragement. Taking a moment to pray WITH them will help them feel loved, but more importantly, prayer will turn their thoughts and gaze to God, rather than to themselves or you. Through prayer, you can remind them of some amazing things about God.

3. Read the Bible with them

You can encourage them to read the Bible, but guess what? Most of the time, they already know this! However, having the motivation and willpower to pick up their Bible, is a different matter. So instead of adding to the guilt, pick up the Bible with them. If this feels difficult or awkward, try using a Bible study guide or devotional.

4. Show them you’re thinking about them 

Anything from a quick text to sending a bunch of flowers will help them feel loved and cared for. They will appreciate you starting a text conversation every couple of weeks more than a one-off grand gesture. Which links with the next point. 

5. Keep walking with them

Depression is a long-term illness. It makes people difficult to be with – they can be energy- and joy-sapping. They can appear ungrateful and consistently turn down your invitations or cancel plans at the last minute. But please don’t give up on them. It’s not a reflection on you, but a symptom of the illness. People who stand by them make an enormous difference (but please make sure you read to point 9, as they balance each other).

6. Encourage them to receive medical help 

Depression can have a spiritual element, and it is important to address this. It is also a physical, mental, and emotional illness. Therefore, medication to aid the chemical balance in the brain, and talking therapies to work through the emotional aspects, can make a big difference. Where possible, a Christian counsellor may be better than a secular one.

7. Assure them of their salvation 

Depression highlights sin and minimises salvation. Regularly remind them that grace is a free gift from God, which is entirely independent of the number of sins or graveness of the sins they have committed. Tell them they are not the exception to the rule. They are not the one person in the history of the world who is so bad that God cannot or will not blot out their sins.

8. Support them practically 

Again, we’re back to the lack of motivation and caring. Can you (or arrange for someone else to) spend an hour a week helping them with housework or buying food? Make a meal or take them out for a walk. Support them to create a weekly routine and encourage them to stick to it. Ask them what they struggle with and help them develop a plan to work through it.

9. Look after yourself 

Caring for someone with depression can be draining and, well, depressing! Make sure you have chance to rest, switch off, take plenty of time to nourish your relationship with God and have someone you can debrief with (either anonymously, or with permission from the depressed person).

If it becomes too much for you to handle, don’t hesitate to seek help yourself. 

In summary, love

Basically, love them as Christ has loved you. This will feel more sacrificial at some times than others. You can use these moments to remind yourself of God’s great love for you and your helplessness before His throne.

Please add your own ideas in the comments below.

Ponder

Who can I support, and who is supporting me?

Which of the suggestions can I bless someone with?

Pray

Lord God, Thank you for putting me in _________’s life. Please guide me to see how I can serve them during their struggles. As I do so, please remind me of your great and unfailing love for me.

Amen